There is a story in the Bible about Esther, who was born as a Jew, but found her way into the King’s palace, in a beauty pageant that won her the title as his next Queen. She hid her identity as a Jew from everyone, but soon, through her cousin Mordecai, found out a plan by the evil Haman to kill the Jews. Mordecai pleaded with her to go to the King and save the Jews… and she was faced with a difficult decision of whether to face the King without being summoned (which meant death) or ignore Mordecai’s request and allow the plan to carry through (which also meant her death, eventually).
I wonder what went through her mind at that point in time. Perhaps she thought, being a Queen is my life’s purpose… my beauty brought me this far… but then again, her life purpose took a drastic turn when she realized she truly cared about her people, she was at the right place at the right time and she had to react quickly to live out her purpose.
How far away are we from our life’s purpose? Sometimes, we question ourselves… is this really it? Is this what I was born for?
Finding our life purpose is a continuous journey. Perhaps our life’s purpose is the sum of many little journeys… once pieced together, we get to see a theme emerging. This discovery about our purpose is part of the FLOW5 COACH process, and is still very much part of our core.
We learnt about the 4C’s during this webtorial.
CREATE – We have certain gifts or talents that are useful. Asking ourselves, what am I good at creating, can give us a clue towards our talents. For me, I think I am good at creating images, videos, stories, memories and also, a safe space for conversation and openness.
CONSUME – What do we spend our money on? Are we investing in our current or future situation? What we value is what we end up consuming. Are we investing in things that make us a better person? Do these things drive us towards our purpose, or are they distractions?
CALENDAR – Time is a resource we will never get back. How we design and craft our days, weeks and months will reflect on how we design our purpose. This point really resonates with me because I sometimes waste my time away by doing things that are urgent but not important. Understanding how our time has been snatched out of our hands is so important, because we can then realign to ensure we spend our time wisely. I do not want my life purpose to be stolen away from me because I was unwise in planning how I utilise my hours. It’s work in progress. There are days when I wake up on weekends, turn over to my hubby and ask him, “What should we do today?”. We find that we are more satisfied with how our weekend went on the days we actually had a plan.
CARE – What breaks your heart? What do you care about? Who do you care about? What situation brings a tear to your eye? If we truly listen to our hearts, we can find a purpose beyond ourselves.
Ikigai – The Japanese Secret to a long and happy life
Ikigai is a Japanese concept that means “the reason for being”. It refers to the purpose of life, bringing together areas that you love, are good at, contributing to what the world needs and also be paid for it! I love this idea. It clarifies why some people are unhappy at different areas of their life. We might be doing something we are good at and paid for it… but feel a sense of emptiness because we are missing the mission and passion portion of it. If we just do work for the money, at the end of the day, we’ll end up burnt out.
Here’s 4 questions to ask the coachee as they seek to discover their Ikigai.
- What are you paid for?
- What are you great at?
- What do you love doing?
- What does the world need?
Reflecting on the 4 questions above, I realise that at different stages of my life, my answers vary. 12 years ago, when I was starting my photography business, I thought that was my life purpose… to create beautiful memories for people that they can cherish forever. As the years went by, I discovered new things about myself, and eventually refined the answers bit by bit.
Now, at this very moment, I can say that I am even more at peace with myself in the search for my Ikigai. I have combined my passion for creative storytelling through words and visuals and also my heart for families and marriages. Just for the record, here’s my answers as of July 2020.
- What are you paid for? My ability to create beautiful memories through images and creative storytelling through videos.
- What are you great at? Capturing memorable photos, writing thought-provoking articles or excerpts, encouraging and inspiring others, being hospitable and selling services or products.
- What do you love doing? Self-improvement and learning, talking to inspiring people, developing others, thinking of new ideas, creating and looking at beautifully designed products or images.
- What does the world need? Individuals need awareness and action in order to live their best lives so that they can fulfil their own life purpose. Marriages need to thrive so that children have a loving home environment to grow in.
My journey into life coaching is the start of the next phase of discovering my ikigai.
