You feel it the moment someone walks into the room. It’s that vibe they bring into the space they enter. Some are naturally bubbly and full of energy, some are always calm despite the circumstances they face. But each of us brings a presence into the room. It is not about what we do, but it is who we are.
When I come into a coaching relationship, I have every intention to be authentic, affirming in nature and empathetic to my coachee. After all, it is not easy to bare your innermost thoughts to a stranger. As a coach, I am a foreign presence, and I am placing myself in a space that is sacred to the coachee. So I really owe it to my coachee to be fully present during our time together.
Actually, this is a topic that has been frequently discussed in my household. Often times, our digital devices suck away our attention from our family members. My husband and kids remind me time and time again to be fully present by putting away my phone and giving them undivided attention at the right time. Ultimately, they just want to be heard and noticed. They want to know that I care about what they are talking about. Listening intently without interruption is a skill that needs to be practiced.
I believe that these are training grounds for developing my skills as a coach. I need to be observant, focused and yet responsive to the coachee at the right timing. Even though the coachee might be sharing difficult problems I have no experience dealing with, I must maintain my emotions so that I remain present to that moment. I need to know when to give the coachee space for silence and reflection.
These are skills to be developed, but I am glad I have my family as my training ground.
