As the 3rd child of the family, with a huge age gap between my siblings and I (12 and 16 years apart), I found myself looking towards them as my role models in life. Since I was closer to my sister, I observed her life, and naturally ‘modeled’ after her. She played softball, and I played softball. She studied mass communications and then started her own film production company. I went on to get a degree in Film and TV Production and subsequently worked with her for 5 years.
But I faced a crisis around 2005 when I started to discover that I was really quite different than my sister. I think, deep down, I knew all along that I could never be like her, but I was too insecure to step out to discover who I was deep inside, and to be authentic to myself. So it took a lot of soul searching, praying, reflection and journalling for me to come to that place of self-awareness that I needed to finally venture out on my own, to find myself. In reality, I was asking questions to myself like, “What is my life purpose?”, “What am I truly talented in?”, “If I could do anything in the world, what would it be?”. To the last question, I had an absurd dream that I might one day be a National Geographic photographer, but my reality was I did not even own a camera, nor understand the techniques of taking photos!
Needless to say, I took the leap of self-discovery and left my job. That was how I ended up as a freelance wanna-be photographer with no job, no idea on how to take photos or run a business.
The Johari window is an amazing concept that I heard about when I was much younger. In every person, there are 4 areas that we are aware and unaware of in our lives.
In 2005, I was in that process of evoking self-awareness about myself, but there were many unknown areas that I did not know about and were not known to others too. Fast forward to 2020… looking at where I am now, I would never have imagined that I could create a photography career and thrive in it, neither did I ever imagine that my interest in people, their lives, and relationships would lead me towards this area of coaching.
This is where coaching is such a powerful tool.
We could potentially unlock and release someone’s untapped potential by challenging the coachee to think ahead. Here are the keys to evoking awareness:
- Considers the coachee’s situation / current reality
By asking questions like “What is happening right now?”, the coach is made aware of the coachee’s current situation. We could also ask additional questions like “How is this impacting you?” to fully understand how to lead the coachee forward to another level. - Challenges the coachee’s status quo
If no one ever challenged us to embrace change and to work hard towards a future goal, most people would likely remain at status quo because human beings are naturally geared towards comfort first. The coach can evoke this self-awareness by asking questions like “What would you like changed?” or “What are your dreams?” This could evoke certain insights about themselves and their situation. - Shares observations, feelings, insights and learning
As a coach, we are not meant to give the answers to our clients, but we could state an observation with permission after listening to the coachee’s sharing. By asking questions like “What are you thinking, or feeling or believing?”, it could unlock some hidden areas for the coachee. - Invites client to generate options to move forward
This is the exciting part, because it helps the coachee to generate ideas so they can move towards their goal. We could ask questions like “What are 3 things you could commit to? By when?” or “What if you did not have any fear, would would you do?”
Some other methods that could help a coachee in their journey of self-awareness include:
- Keeping a journal so they can discover patterns of behaviour that emerge
- Identifying and affirming the coachee’s strengths through our observation as a coach
- Ask the coachee to seek feedback about their strengths and areas of development from their close friends, family and colleagues.
- Encourage the coachee to expand their mind by learning new things every month… like reading a book or watching a training video.
- Invite your coachee to discover new friends who have similar values, beliefs and actions so that there is a sense of mutual support and accountability.
What an exciting journey it is ahead for the coachee and for me! I am excited to help others discover their hidden potential and to unlock the great things they will achieve in their lifetime.
Cover Image Credits: Photo by Stephen Leonardi on Unsplash
